SWAMP MONSTER

by slooming

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about

this album is about the last few months of my life. moving out of bad situations, kissing boys, going to a psych ward after a suicide attempt... it's all very raw so i left the album as raw as possible. these tracks aren't mastered, there is a rustling in the background, my voice is flat, but i put everything i had into this. i am so much better now

credits

released December 17, 2016

so many people supported me in the making of this album, i would like to thank the following people: brooke johnson, geneva johnson, gabriela cisneros, katie todd, kellen gold, ella kosovic, and caragan edwards. thank you

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

slooming Massachusetts

lily joseph rich
she/her

thanks for being a fan

all inquiries to lilyjosephart@gmail.com thank u

much love <3

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Track Name: silverfish
sometimes i feel like no one wants to see me
sometimes i feel so goddamn lonely
sometimes i want to be the breeze
shaking the green leaves of an oak tree

sometimes i feel like i'm an ugly bug
you're always sweeping under the rug
oh i just wanna be enough
but i'm afraid i'll never fall in love

i'll get high with the boy i like
i will finally get a kiss goodnight
i'll take the commuter rail still stoned
i'll go home, i'll go home, i'll go home
Track Name: november forever
the way my feet feel in my shoes
the way it feels to walk with you
the cold air against my hand
as i go to grab yours and...

and your lips soft against mine
the way i'm sad all i've the time
i try to focus on your voice
i try to focus on your voice

my heartbeat slows
inside my chest
i breathe low
and kiss your neck
Track Name: nightmares
i keep having dreams where we're still friends
you trick-or-treat, your hair was red
do you remember when you cried,
"i had a nightmare where you died"

i keep having dreams where we make up
burying all the times we fucked up
this is the song that you wanted
i'm the only swamp monster

i keep having dreams where we're alright
driving in the middle of the night
in the backseat i turned and said,
"will they love me again?"
Track Name: staying in
i am changing for the better
i've been writing you a letter
'cause i found something of yours
while i was sweeping up my floor

i'll keep in touch with my mother
she's a mess but i still love her
and today i'm staying in
'cause i wish it was the spring

la da da

i'll move out to michigan
i'll move in with my best friend
i know last time that plan caved in
but this time it will be different

la da da

i am mailing you a letter
'cause i found something of yours
i wish we could talk more
but we won't
Track Name: mountain town
i'll pour my heart out to the snow in leavenworth
i'll return my body to the frozen earth
i'll pour my heart out in a mountain town
or else i'll pour it in the puget sound

i don't want to talk to you again
i wish these dreams about you would end

i'll pour my heart out to the snow in leavenworth
am i getting better while the world is getting worse?
i'll pour a drink out for my younger self
are those my better years all dusty on the shelf?

i'll pour my heart out in a mountain town
or else i'll pour it in the puget sound
but i'll leave my body intact
i'll walk away and never come back
Track Name: keeping my nose clean
no more stealing
and no more lies
no more sneaking
and no more trials
no more benzos
and no more weed
no more drinking
and no more speed

i've been keeping my nose clean

I DON'T WANT TO GO INSANE
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY MIND
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY FRIENDS
AND I DON'T WANT TO DIE
Track Name: comfortable mattress
you never look at me
in my dreams when i sleep

you used to sleep
right next to me
in my bed
it was so comfortable you said

but now i sleep alone
and it's okay
i wouldn't want it any other way
i wouldn't want you here anyway
Track Name: can't kiss with stitched lips
we were in manchester when everything went south
so i'm sewing up my mouth
'til i can't speak
'til i can't speak...

i'll pack my things up again
including my heart with the boxes
and i'll move out to the cascade
to the cascade...

'cause the east don't want me
she sings so softly
she sings, "i wanna be high the rest of my life"
i'll pick you flowers in the summertime
Track Name: drunk rules: no klonopin
["when i was moving out, i saw you wrote on the fridge, 'drunk rules: no klonopin,' and it hurt so much... when i took all that klonopin and when i drank all that vodka i was trying to kill myself... and writing that, it made it feel like none of you cared or... didn't know... i don't know. it just hurt. and i want you to know that, that you hurt me too..."]

i cut my name out of a blanket and i burned it in the sink
i had some alcohol and nine klonopin
when you came home i was on your bed
and i don't remember anything i said
but i know i hurt you and i'm sorry for that
i know i hurt you, and i'm sorry for that